my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
