I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
