Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
