My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
