ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
