Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
