According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i believe in u and ur pee
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
