Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Drake has all the answers
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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