TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
