where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
