This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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