Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
