somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
