i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
