Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she pinky promised me she was 18
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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