i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Even my vagina gasped.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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