Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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