i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
