So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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