i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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