Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i need some magic done to my vagina
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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