We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
