oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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