It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
