Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
