dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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