if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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