Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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