i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
