I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
