Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
