Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
