Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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