the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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