i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
