btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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