I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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