You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
