Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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