I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
