fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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