Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
40s are totally the cure
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
