Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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