He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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