New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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