You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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