I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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