Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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