Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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