As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
