I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This is the high leading the old right now
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
